Across the table, Chelsea Coyle takes a sip of her coffee and asks if she can read some notes she has put together.
“I like the acronym for HOPE. It’s ‘hang on, pain ends.’ It’s not why the addiction, it’s why the pain,” shares Coyle.
Coyle recounts some of her childhood, how quickly she grew up and how that could have led her down the path of addiction. Her mother is an alcoholic with over 20 years of sobriety.
“I’ve seen how traumatic addiction can be on the family system. I swore I’d never be that way. We never grow up hoping day one that we’d be an addict. It’s often passed down generationally, addiction doesn’t discriminate.”
Coyle’s recovery journey has been long. She has been through nine treatment stints, the final one being a subsequent stay at Stepping Stones Recovery House in the Comox Valley. During her second to last stay, Coyle relapsed while at the treatment facility and was kicked out.
“I was on the streets for four weeks and then (Stepping Stones) ended up allowing me back in. I’m so grateful for that. The doors were closing, my mom, this time she had to do the tough love thing because she has guardianship over two of my children so I couldn’t stay there.”
Previously Coyle had travelled away from the Valley for treatment, thinking that if she changed her surroundings and who she associated with, she would be able to get, and stay, clean.
“I used to go away for treatment, this time around it was, I have family here, I’m always going to come back to the Valley. If this is what is going to do me in, I’m going to be doomed forever. I had to kind of take my power back in that sense. I need to get clean here.”
This final push at Stepping Stones has kept Coyle sober since July 25, 2023.
“I now have over two years clean, I have my kids back in my life on a regular basis. My hope is that I continue to do the next right thing, I’ll be able to be their mom again on a full-time basis. But in the meantime, I’m okay with continuing to show my dedication towards my recovery and making those amendments.”
With the use of opioid agonist therapy (OAT), Coyle was able to maintain her sobriety. She currently gets the Sublocade injections every four weeks. She is working on extending the period between shots to slowly taper off.
Coyle’s experimentation with drugs started with pot in high school, including selling it. She moved onto ecstasy when she was 16. That progressed into cocaine, then crack and eventually after using oxycodone pills, she started using heroin. Her ultimate drugs of choice were crack and fentanyl.
“I did not handle the come down off of crack so I was always wired to down (fentanyl) as well.”
She overdosed many times — more than she can remember — since memories are hazy of her time using. After scaring her mom several times, Coyle knew she had found her ‘rock bottom’ when her mother was taking care of her after another overdose.
“I think about my lowest moments at the end, it was being homeless and my mom picking me up on a regular basis (to treat) cuts and scrapes … I remember my mom tried to help me and had all these buckets, because my limbs - my hands and feet - were covered in burns and wounds and she had them in epsom baths.”
With the support of her mom, who was walking the line between being supportive and dispensing ‘tough love,’ the want to have her kids be in her life again, to be a regular mom, Coyle moved towards treatment and getting sober.
“Ultimately I had to choose between being a mom or being an addict. I couldn’t be both. No amount of dope was numbing that pain that I felt not having them. I’m grateful that I do have them at least now on a regular basis.”
Now Coyle enjoys a regular schedule with her kids and is working to have them more of the time. She has her drivers license now and works at both The Village Clinic and a retirement home. She is working to reduce the stigma that comes with being an addict.
“There’s a stigma around people and addicts and how they choose to be this way or it’s a good choice but ultimately, maybe it is a choice for the first time but after that it's an addiction, again and again.”
As for what worked for Coyle, along with attending Stepping Stones, she credits 12-Step programs and trying different programs to see what clicked for her.
“This time around I did the codependency steps, as they say, ‘Scratch an addict, and there’s a codependent’ - and I really do believe that this is true because before I picked up, my first love was validation. In my younger years, I wanted to be loved, I wanted to belong. I was a people pleaser.”
Now with the last two years of sobriety under her belt, Coyle is starting to find herself again. To discover who she is and what makes her happy.
“These last few years has been this time for me to figure out what I like to do now. Me and my kids, my son especially, have taken up dirt biking. So I still get the adrenaline and I love nature. I joke about it because I think maybe if I had gotten into dirt biking back when I was a teen, I wouldn’t have gotten into addiction.”
Coyle appreciates the things that have come from the freedom of no longer being in active addiction.
“The opportunity to work at an addictions clinic, as a peer support worker, the same clinic that helped me in my journey, really makes me feel like I’ve come full circle. Being born and raised in the Valley and struggling for many years, thinking of all the chaos I created … I try everyday to make amends.”
Mental health, substance use, and grief services and supports are available. Residents may call Service Link at 1-888-885-8824 to learn about supports that best meet their needs. If someone is experiencing a crisis, they can contact the Vancouver Island Crisis Line, available 24/7, at 1-888-494-3888. To access mental health and substance use services, visit Mental Health & Substance Use Services or HelpStartsHere.gov.bc.ca. For harm reduction information and resources, like where to get Naloxone, visit Toward The Heart. The Village Clinic, the only OAT (opioid agonist therapy) clinic in the Comox Valley accepting new patients, provides support for people struggling with opioid use. You can contact them at 250 331-6333.
