Heather Edward drinks her iced coffee as she waits for her salad to arrive at a local coffee shop.
“On Sept. 1, I am at 17 months clean.”
The mother of two teenage boys starts to share her story by reading a speech she wrote for her one-year milestone at Cedars Recovery in Cobble Hill.
“I am a grateful recovering addict, it’s a true honour to celebrate this milestone … I feel humbled to be picking up my one-year medallion at the place that saved my life.”
Edward tried to get clean several times, including trying other treatment facilities, but it wasn’t until she entered Cedars Recovery that her life completely changed and she started her road to recovery.
“I went to treatment before, a few years ago, I went to Edgewood (in Nanaimo) and I relapsed a week out of there so I went for five days and I realized that I just wasn’t ready.”
When Edward speaks of all the things she lost due to addiction, her face changes and the emotional toll it took on her is apparent.
“Addiction stripped me of my everything. I lost my house, my car, my license, my partner and most painfully, my kids. I used to always use this analogy, if someone told me if I was to wear red, I would lose my kids - I wouldn’t wear red. But there I was, wearing red every day,” Edward shares of her experience of loss due to addiction.
Not only did Edward "wear red" every day, but she also lived a life of chaos and constant crisis while experiencing being unhoused while dealing with addiction.
“I was living on the street, so I was putting myself in dangerous situations just to feed my addiction day in and day out. I was living in a state of fear and chaos. It was dark, lonely and a terrifying existence.”
The first time Edward attempted treatment, she realized she wasn’t doing it for herself. She was doing it for her kids and family, but her kids were not ready for a relationship with her yet.
“When I got out I used this as an excuse to use and I used meetings as an excuse to get away from my mom and go downtown and use.”
But this time at treatment at Cedars Recovery was different. Edward was self-aware of her issues.
“I told my parents how I struggled with that and how I needed their support with that. Then I had to be really open to meeting people in recovery this time. Before I (thought) everyone in Courtenay does drugs, I don’t know any way to not be around that. It's just not possible. So this time I had to be really open to the journey of meeting people (in recovery).”
With the support of her family, Edwards was able to turn that corner and mend broken relationships and the losses she had experienced while finding a new path forward.
“I went to Cedars for 90 days and then I was able to live with my dad. My dad and I didn’t speak for two years during my addiction. My addiction was really bad for about five or six years.”
In her 20s, Edward experienced a different kind of addiction that didn’t wipe her life out or take everything from her. She used pills.
“I was addicted to pills in my 20s and I went on Suboxone for it. But it’s weird that I don’t include that as part of my addiction because I didn’t lose everything to them. Even though it was an expensive habit … I managed to get it under wraps.”
Edward was able to continue her successful business and take care of her kids. She only counts the five or six years when everything fell apart as being her real experience with addiction and into recovery.
“I speak about when my life went to shambles. It started with snorting cocaine, then I was in so much pain with my nose that I went to crack and then that’s where I lost everything. My house - I owned a house and had a successful cleaning business.”
From crack, Edward finally moved to smoking fentanyl when she found herself unhoused and living on the streets.
“I dated a guy for about a year that was addicted to fentanyl. He’s no longer here and I never did it during our relationship but once we broke up and he died, I used it as a reason to try to get close to him. Eventually, I came to the point where I was ready (for treatment).”
Edward went to her parents and looked for help in the journey to becoming clean. She sought out harm reduction and safe supply via Dr. Eva Hemmerich and The Village.
“(Dr. Hemmerich) actually told my mom and my dad that basically, they needed to keep me high on fentanyl until I got into treatment because I could die if I was withdrawing. My parents were against everything but they were giving me a little bit of fentanyl and they struggled with me overdosing in front of them (in the past) ... my dad would watch me while I slept to make sure I didn’t die.”
The point at which Edward knew she had to change was when she realized that she didn’t want to die. Having overdosed several times, including in front of her parents, she knew this was no longer the life she wanted to live.
“Waking up to my mom in the hospital with tubes down my throat over those numerous times, I got to the point where I didn’t want to die. I wanted to be there for my kids. Throughout my addiction, people would say that I chose drugs over my kids. But I didn’t have the choice. If I was able to choose, then I obviously would have chosen my kids, but I wasn't able to choose because the drugs had taken over. I was addicted. I needed them to survive.”
Edward lived with her dad, 20 minutes outside of town and with no license, she had to rely on him to take her to meetings, which she saw as a blessing in disguise. She had no way to sneak out to use. She had to stick to going to meetings and wherever her dad took her. She was working the 12 Steps and connecting with those also in recovery.
Today, Edward helps those she once shared the streets with. She works with The Village Clinic and helps those suffering from addiction change their lives around. She took the Crisis Response and Mental Health course and a couple of months after completion and regularly attending Narcotics Anonymous meetings, Edward was able to move forward with working.
“I was able to do things on my time and when I felt comfortable - when I was ready.”
Edward has regained her independence as she has gotten her driver's license back, works at the clinic and as of Oct. 1 will be moving into her own place. Without all the support her family gave her, Dr. Hemmerich at The Village Clinic, she would not be where she is today.
“We’re so lucky to have Eva at The Village. She ultimately changed our lives. We found her and she introduced us to all this stuff.”
Mental health, substance use, and grief services and supports are available. Residents may call Service Link at 1-888-885-8824 to learn about supports that best meet their needs. If someone is experiencing a crisis, they can contact the Vancouver Island Crisis Line, available 24/7, at 1-888-494-3888. To access mental health and substance use services, visit Mental Health & Substance Use Services or HelpStartsHere.gov.bc.ca. For harm reduction information and resources, like where to get Naloxone, visit Toward The Heart. The Village clinic, the only OAT (opioid agonist therapy) clinic in the Comox Valley accepting new patients, provides support for people struggling with opioid use. You can contact them at 250 331-6333.
